thinking too much...

I don't have money, power, influence, leverage, fame, notoriety, political, military or business ties. I have no favors I can call in or a wide reaching forum to spread information. Two people read this. I can't physically go and stop all the crazy terrible things I read about in countries across the world or even cities in the next state. I want to. I’d like to take some mean dogs and a shotgun and protect the innocent like some girl version of the Saints. I feel like all I do is absorb bad news, helpless to take any real action. Meanwhile Lindsay Lohan flies in our faces like a giant waving hand, keeping the world at bay. Le sigh….

hard to sit still

when i listen to this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KBgg-hrtyo&feature=related

wish i'd said it...

But people hear music in all kinds of different ways. Some people experience music as colours; others just see grey water pouring out of the speakers. Some never listen to lyrics, they just fall under a spell. Some eat it whole. Some just take a bite. Some of us like to get on our backs and roll around in it like a dog. 

Strange weather...

I started listening to Tom Waits and he's made a horrible mess of everything. My taste in music is in shambles. Suddenley everything seems like a bad morning in the 9th ward. Or a dark dream with smiling graves stones and a macabre carnival of characters. Then again I might be just drifing through Americas diners and roadways, like some ghostly traveler. Whatever is going on in my head it probably wears a hat of some kind and likes to throw glitter.

I'm trying to write a paper but it's a beautiful day and I'd rather take a nap under my open window, drifing away while clouds roll overhead.

Nudedragons

[link] yesssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! precious is found!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sssssssssssssssssssSSSSSSSSSSSSSsssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MWAhahahahahah YESSS! hahahahahahha memalnfonfhnkjfnwhgvnagbfiure.................*dies*

Hands all over, western culture

The sun is up after 6 but before 7 now and so am I. I haven't remembered a dream in weeks and I feel disconnected from my subconscious mind, although I suspect it's been busy. Life moves faster than my ability to take it in sometimes. Dancing or dreaming only delays the inevitable crash.A few things for to remember about this month: I had my ears pierced. My roomate and I decided not to renew our lease so I'm moving back to Dallas. Darcie was in her second play at the Pentacle. Went and saw Mindy, found morels in the woods, rode an ATV through dark roads, took a hill track with her to a knoll with a view of the quiet wild, read 5 fluffy books in three days. Cannon Beach with Auntie A, Gma and Mum, amazing sunset, 45 dollar dinner, rasberry wine and "You won't stay" Cleaned out car with CJ and Leo (also the three of us had crazy house cleaning session set to techno) Learned once again that getting attached to people is painful sometimes. Did it anyway. Read "let the right one in" grossly upsetting. Chelsea came back from Hawaii. and finally, tonight, at 7 pm on april 16th, soundgaren played together for the first time in 14 years, in seattle. AAAHHHHHHHAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (not that i got to see them but just knowing that makes me happy)

Trendisimo

So today I'm being super hip and writing at powells world of
books on my iPod. I'm even sitting at the window seat
so I can be stared at by every passerby. Completeing my non conformist
yet clone like appearance is a copy of p & p with zombies.
I found a copy for cheap so yay!

Just a perfect day

Had a steller day at the coast last weekend. In February! It wasnt too cold, very little wind, bright sun. I climbed the GIANT dune at Pacific City with some friends and of course am still finding sand e v e r y w h e r e. The sun set behind the big rock and everyone was standing around with cameras and phones taking pictures. The only bummer was the place where we ate was having a bad night and our food showed up very late and not so good.

Today was rainy but not overcast, which is actaully my favorite kind of spring weather. I got sidetracked buying seeds from a local farm (down with Monsatan!) and decided I was alreay late for class I might as well skip it. Instead I had a really relaxing day, very much needed. Talk to sis and J on the Big island for a minute.

Watched North and South again. This time around I got snagged. I mean I liked RA before alright but now I'm probably in the rabid fan girl side of things. Oh dear.

142 am

I’ve got rabbit in me. Every time I get in the car the road calls, a siren of endless pavement. It whispers that I could be in New Mexico in less than a day, riding through the cold desert air, bats overhead and miles of empty wasteland to cradle my broken dreams. In two days I could be in Iowa, throwing Molotov cocktails out the window and into the inedible fields of corn. In three days maybe four I could be watching the sun rise over the Atlantic, assuming I never slept or got pulled over. I could go North to the cold lonely territories of Canada, where carelessness can still get you killed. To the south lies Mexico, the fitful feckless border guard of the Spanish speaking Americas. Panama, Honduras, Argentina all wait there, dangerous and strange. I could try my luck at sea, stashed away in a cargo container, most likely marked for slavery and worse. Or I could take a plane and play the tourist in a thousand cities, all with the same camera and out of place expression, wandering aimlessly, looking for moments that tell me the experience was worth the money and filthy bathrooms. Every time I get in the car.

*I did get them mixed up. Should be right now :D *

Life on the edge of something a little like rain on a spring day.

Sunday Tuesday Thursday and Saturday I work. Monday Wednesday and Friday I have school. Any free time (hah...free) is spent on homework or attempting to clean up the mess left in the wake of my chaotic path. If I can see the floor of my room then things are pretty much under control. Last night i fell aslepp in my parents living room next to a roaring woodstove fire. This moring i drove home, took a shower, had tea and breakfast, did some laundry, continued watching season 9 of friends, loaded the dishwasher, hand washed the rest, straightened my hair and left for work in time to buy gas and take the long way through the country side. took camp adair road to the back corvallis highway. theres a crumbling skeleton of a building out in field, all thats left are nine or ten angled concrete pylons, facing each other like mossy fingers coming out of the earth. i think nani could take a good picture of it. a troupe of bicyclist had taken over my usual path, complete with flashing light escort cars, so i dove back over to 99 for the rest of the trip.  work was boring but horribly busy and i kept getting flustered, I was glad Joy was my closer. She's very focused and kept things on track. i was all over the place. I carded a guy in his fifties becasue I didnt really look at him before ringing his beer up. Maybe Melissa is right and I should attept to make more eye contact. Soooooooooo emabrassing. Also I got my haircut. but that was awhile ago. I was thinking maybe I'd want to remember it though so I'm leaving a picture.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, I'm a total geek. The news that they are back sent me screaming from the room like a manic, leaving my friends to wonder if I'd quite lost my mind. So while the rest of my fellow females are slobbering over Bradley Cooper and Edward I'm scouring the internet for any more new of four pale depressed hairy guys from Seattle.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjNjJR9jUGo

2010, the zombies invade. i leave my shoes by the roadside and find love.

Only one of those things is likely to happen. Guess I should start shoe shopping now. Brought in the new year a little differently this year. A friend showed up at the apartment quite intoxicated and my roomate and I took him home and shoved him through his door as the seconds were counted down. I was in the process of getting back into the car at the precise stroke of midnight. I celebrated in my own way the night before by leaving a six foot Christmas tree on someone's roof (with lights!). To each his own. I've spent little over an hour in this year and I'm already tired. The snow only lasted half a day but I'm content with that. School starts next week. Pottery and painting. I almost feel like I'm cheating I'm so excited.