Tom has a bad weekend...

Goodness gracious...my bass player should be chained up somewhere
I wanna take you on a kind of inebriational travelogue here
Well, ain't got no spare, you ain't got no jack, you don't give a shit you ain't never coming back
Maybe your standing on the corner of 17th and Wazee Streets, yeah
Out in front of the Terminal bar there's a Thunderbird moving in muscatel sky
You've been drinking cleaning products all night
Open for suggestions
It's a kinda about eh...well it's kinda about going down to the corner and say
'Well I'm just going down to the corner to get a pack of cigarettes I'll be back in a minute'
Yeah, check out the street and it looks likes kinda of a...
kinda of a blur drizzle down the plateglass
And there's a neon swizzle stick stirring up the sultry night air
Looks like a yellow biscuit of a buttery cue ball moon
Rollin' maverick across an obsidian sky
As the busses go groanin' and wheezin',
Down on the corner I'm freezing
On a restless boulevard in a midnight road
I'm across town from EASY STREET
With the tight knots of moviegoers and out of towners on the stroll
The buildings towering high above
Lit like dominoes or black dice
Used car salesmen dressed up in Purina Checkerboard slacks
And Foster Grant wrap-around
Pacing in front of rainbow EARL SCHLEIB $39.95 merchandise
Like barkers at a shooting gallery
They throw out kind of a Texas Guinan routine
"Hello sucker, we like your money just as well as anybody else's here
Come on over here now
Let me put the cut back in your strut and the glid back in your slide
Now climb aboard a custom Oldmobile and let me take you for a ride"
Or they give you the P.T. Barnum bit
"There's a sucker born every minute
you just happened to be comin' along at the right time you know
come over here"
Well you know, all the harlequin sailors are on the stroll
In a search of "LIKE NEW," "NEW PAINT,"
And decent factory air and AM-FM dreams
And all the piss yellow gypsy cabs
That stack up in the taxi zones and the're waiting like pinball machines
To be ticking off a joy ride to a magical place
Like truckers welcome diners
With dirt lots full of Peterbilts and Kenworths and Jimmy's and the like
They're hiballin' with bankrupt brakes
Man, the're over driven and the're under paid
The're over fed and the're a day late and a dollar short
Christ I got my lips around a bottle and I got my foot on the throttle
And I'm standing on the corner
Standing on the corner like a "just in town" jasper
I'm on a street corner with a gasper
Looking for some kind of Cheshire billboard grin
Stroking a goateed chin, using parking meters as walking sticks On the inebriated stroll
With my eyelids propped open at half mast

But you know over at Chubb's Pool Hall and Snooker
Well it was a nickle after two, yea it was a nickle after two
And in the cobalt steel blue dream smoke
Why it was the radio that groaned out the hit parade
And the chalk squeaked and the floorboards creaked
And an Olympia sign winked through a torn yellow shade
Old Jack Chance himself leaning up against a Wurlitzer
And he was eyeballing out a 5 ball combination shot
Impossible you say? Hard to believe?
Perhaps out of the realm of possibility? Nah
Cause he'll be stretchin' out long tawny fingers
Out across a cool green felt in a provocative golden gate
He got a full table railshot that's no sweat
And I leaned up against my bannister
And wandered over to the Wurlitzer and I punched A-2
I was lookin' for maybe 'Wine, Wine, Wine' by the Night Caps
Starring Chuck E. Weiss or maybe...
Maybe a little something called 'High Blood Pressure'
By George 'cryin' in the streets' Perkins, no dice
"Cause that's life," that's what all the people say
Your riding high in April, seriously shot down in May
But I know I'm gonna change that tune
When I'm standing underneath a buttery moon That's all melted off to one side

It was just about that time that the sun came crawlin' yellow out of a manhole
At the foot of 23rd Street and a dracula moon in a black disguise
Was making its way back to its pre-paid room at the St. Moritz Hotel
(scat)
The El train tumbled across the trestles
And it sounded like the ghost of Gene Krupa
With an overhead cam and glasspacks
And the whispering brushes of wet radials on wet pavement
With a traffic jam session on Belmont tonight
And the rhapsody of the pending evening
I leaned up against my bannister
And I've been looking for some kind of an emotional investment
With romantic dividends, yeah kind of a physical negotiation is underway
Well, as I attempt to consolidate all my missed weekly rendezvous
Into one-low-monthly payment, through the nose, yeah
With romantic residuals and legs akimbo
But the chances are that more than likely
Standing underneath a moon holding water
I'll probably be held over for another smashed weekend

thinking too much...

I don't have money, power, influence, leverage, fame, notoriety, political, military or business ties. I have no favors I can call in or a wide reaching forum to spread information. Two people read this. I can't physically go and stop all the crazy terrible things I read about in countries across the world or even cities in the next state. I want to. I’d like to take some mean dogs and a shotgun and protect the innocent like some girl version of the Saints. I feel like all I do is absorb bad news, helpless to take any real action. Meanwhile Lindsay Lohan flies in our faces like a giant waving hand, keeping the world at bay. Le sigh….

hard to sit still

when i listen to this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9KBgg-hrtyo&feature=related

wish i'd said it...

But people hear music in all kinds of different ways. Some people experience music as colours; others just see grey water pouring out of the speakers. Some never listen to lyrics, they just fall under a spell. Some eat it whole. Some just take a bite. Some of us like to get on our backs and roll around in it like a dog. 

Strange weather...

I started listening to Tom Waits and he's made a horrible mess of everything. My taste in music is in shambles. Suddenley everything seems like a bad morning in the 9th ward. Or a dark dream with smiling graves stones and a macabre carnival of characters. Then again I might be just drifing through Americas diners and roadways, like some ghostly traveler. Whatever is going on in my head it probably wears a hat of some kind and likes to throw glitter.

I'm trying to write a paper but it's a beautiful day and I'd rather take a nap under my open window, drifing away while clouds roll overhead.

Nudedragons

[link] yesssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! precious is found!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sssssssssssssssssssSSSSSSSSSSSSSsssss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!MWAhahahahahah YESSS! hahahahahahha memalnfonfhnkjfnwhgvnagbfiure.................*dies*

Hands all over, western culture

The sun is up after 6 but before 7 now and so am I. I haven't remembered a dream in weeks and I feel disconnected from my subconscious mind, although I suspect it's been busy. Life moves faster than my ability to take it in sometimes. Dancing or dreaming only delays the inevitable crash.A few things for to remember about this month: I had my ears pierced. My roomate and I decided not to renew our lease so I'm moving back to Dallas. Darcie was in her second play at the Pentacle. Went and saw Mindy, found morels in the woods, rode an ATV through dark roads, took a hill track with her to a knoll with a view of the quiet wild, read 5 fluffy books in three days. Cannon Beach with Auntie A, Gma and Mum, amazing sunset, 45 dollar dinner, rasberry wine and "You won't stay" Cleaned out car with CJ and Leo (also the three of us had crazy house cleaning session set to techno) Learned once again that getting attached to people is painful sometimes. Did it anyway. Read "let the right one in" grossly upsetting. Chelsea came back from Hawaii. and finally, tonight, at 7 pm on april 16th, soundgaren played together for the first time in 14 years, in seattle. AAAHHHHHHHAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (not that i got to see them but just knowing that makes me happy)

Trendisimo

So today I'm being super hip and writing at powells world of
books on my iPod. I'm even sitting at the window seat
so I can be stared at by every passerby. Completeing my non conformist
yet clone like appearance is a copy of p & p with zombies.
I found a copy for cheap so yay!

Just a perfect day

Had a steller day at the coast last weekend. In February! It wasnt too cold, very little wind, bright sun. I climbed the GIANT dune at Pacific City with some friends and of course am still finding sand e v e r y w h e r e. The sun set behind the big rock and everyone was standing around with cameras and phones taking pictures. The only bummer was the place where we ate was having a bad night and our food showed up very late and not so good.

Today was rainy but not overcast, which is actaully my favorite kind of spring weather. I got sidetracked buying seeds from a local farm (down with Monsatan!) and decided I was alreay late for class I might as well skip it. Instead I had a really relaxing day, very much needed. Talk to sis and J on the Big island for a minute.

Watched North and South again. This time around I got snagged. I mean I liked RA before alright but now I'm probably in the rabid fan girl side of things. Oh dear.

142 am

I’ve got rabbit in me. Every time I get in the car the road calls, a siren of endless pavement. It whispers that I could be in New Mexico in less than a day, riding through the cold desert air, bats overhead and miles of empty wasteland to cradle my broken dreams. In two days I could be in Iowa, throwing Molotov cocktails out the window and into the inedible fields of corn. In three days maybe four I could be watching the sun rise over the Atlantic, assuming I never slept or got pulled over. I could go North to the cold lonely territories of Canada, where carelessness can still get you killed. To the south lies Mexico, the fitful feckless border guard of the Spanish speaking Americas. Panama, Honduras, Argentina all wait there, dangerous and strange. I could try my luck at sea, stashed away in a cargo container, most likely marked for slavery and worse. Or I could take a plane and play the tourist in a thousand cities, all with the same camera and out of place expression, wandering aimlessly, looking for moments that tell me the experience was worth the money and filthy bathrooms. Every time I get in the car.

*I did get them mixed up. Should be right now :D *

Life on the edge of something a little like rain on a spring day.

Sunday Tuesday Thursday and Saturday I work. Monday Wednesday and Friday I have school. Any free time (hah...free) is spent on homework or attempting to clean up the mess left in the wake of my chaotic path. If I can see the floor of my room then things are pretty much under control. Last night i fell aslepp in my parents living room next to a roaring woodstove fire. This moring i drove home, took a shower, had tea and breakfast, did some laundry, continued watching season 9 of friends, loaded the dishwasher, hand washed the rest, straightened my hair and left for work in time to buy gas and take the long way through the country side. took camp adair road to the back corvallis highway. theres a crumbling skeleton of a building out in field, all thats left are nine or ten angled concrete pylons, facing each other like mossy fingers coming out of the earth. i think nani could take a good picture of it. a troupe of bicyclist had taken over my usual path, complete with flashing light escort cars, so i dove back over to 99 for the rest of the trip.  work was boring but horribly busy and i kept getting flustered, I was glad Joy was my closer. She's very focused and kept things on track. i was all over the place. I carded a guy in his fifties becasue I didnt really look at him before ringing his beer up. Maybe Melissa is right and I should attept to make more eye contact. Soooooooooo emabrassing. Also I got my haircut. but that was awhile ago. I was thinking maybe I'd want to remember it though so I'm leaving a picture.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, I'm a total geek. The news that they are back sent me screaming from the room like a manic, leaving my friends to wonder if I'd quite lost my mind. So while the rest of my fellow females are slobbering over Bradley Cooper and Edward I'm scouring the internet for any more new of four pale depressed hairy guys from Seattle.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjNjJR9jUGo

2010, the zombies invade. i leave my shoes by the roadside and find love.

Only one of those things is likely to happen. Guess I should start shoe shopping now. Brought in the new year a little differently this year. A friend showed up at the apartment quite intoxicated and my roomate and I took him home and shoved him through his door as the seconds were counted down. I was in the process of getting back into the car at the precise stroke of midnight. I celebrated in my own way the night before by leaving a six foot Christmas tree on someone's roof (with lights!). To each his own. I've spent little over an hour in this year and I'm already tired. The snow only lasted half a day but I'm content with that. School starts next week. Pottery and painting. I almost feel like I'm cheating I'm so excited.

Turning

Today isn't my 111th birthday but like Bilbo I do feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread. Which is why I'v run far away to the town of Centralia. I have no idea what it looks like since we got here at night but the hotel is by far the strangest and most delightful place I've ever stayed. It's one of the McMenamin's projects, an old collection of rooms turned into a pub/therater/hotel/pool hall. The theater has a working sink next to the couch in a corner. Stories of ill repute line the halls and decorate the bathroom walls and everywhere are murals of the type of lower class characters that frequented the place in its less respectable days. The room is a tiny space, with a bunk bed, a sink, bathrobes, fringe lamps, lots of coat hooks, a skylight and an excess of hot air pumping in from two different ceiling vents.  The toilets and showers are scatterd around the halls of the 26 rooms at random, each with its own quirks. We watched a movie in the theater lounging on a small coach, our feet propped up on a chair and ridiculous food on the end tables. It could have been Manos: Hands of Fate and I think I still would have enjoyed myself. But now I'm very sleepy. My birthday has been celebrated. I've destroyed a pinata with a sword, had two cakes, several cards, the obligatory song and gotten away on a short but jolly holiday. I'm feeling happy, spoiled and sleepy. Tomorrow I'm going to attempt to tackle Pike's Place Market and a little shopping. Until then...

...

December

Made it around the wheel once more. The cold winter nights are back and I drove in the moonlight tonight without headlights. It was so bright I could see the fields and roads. Still, probably a stupid thing to do, even just for a few seconds.  Sometimes I just have to feel the pavement getting sucked under the tires like the waves under the prow of a ship. I feel guilty about using the gas though.

As I was driving home...

I noticed geese flying north. At work in the parking lot the other day I saw them flying south. The birds are messing with my sense of direction. Good news on the home front. I passed my last paper which means I have a chance to pass this class. Dad's talking to me. I have to go. Okay I'm back now. Watched Green Street Hooligans tonight but it's not as good as I remember. Elijah Wood is too feminine a narrator and his soft voice cannot convey the depth of his supposed feelings. Morgan Freeman should just be the narrator for everything. I wonder what's happening exactly 180 degrees from where I'm sitting, on the same parallel half way across the world. Are they searching videos on you tube, looking out after cows in the grass, watching tv in a bar, sleeping in a hammock while the sound of traffic roars outside?

The paper is a week late. I have to turn it in tomorrow. But naturally I've sat here most of the day playing video games, eating cookies and planning dinner. Oh, and watching "Persuasion" on Netflix, possibly the most romantic and most depressing of all the Austen movies. 9 years! Appropriate viewing for a woman approaching her 27th birthday. I was talking to a friend last night about our mutual despair over finding Prince Charming and I told her something to make her feel better, or at least get her mind off of it. He said I ought to write it down so here it is, a story of her true love found at last.
“Your eyes will meet across the room. At least, you’ll think they’ve met. Your glasses are old and they’ve turned down the lights to show off the recently decorated tree.  Slowly you get to your feet, joints creaking, and you grip the rubber handles of your walker. With a determined shuffle you both make your way towards the center of the room, dodging wheelchairs and neighbors from down the hall with the speed of a slow motion video.  The hearing aid assisted conversations drift around you but you are in a world of two as finally you face each other. He leans forward on his four legged cane to hear you better, his filmy blue grey eyes locked on yours.  You take a shaky breath and say, ‘I’ve been waiting...’ He smiles and replies, ‘...all of my life.”

It's cold now. Freezing. The drive to school is merely traffic, no fall leaves or summer breezes. If I race out of class I can beat the school bus system of DOOM. Started reading the last book in the Nightwatch series. The feeling of a Russian winter suits me fine.

FREEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I deactivated both my Facebook and Myspace and as I suspected, I feel a little less burdened. I'm in a clean out mood. I got rid of a bunch of stuff on my computer and if I had any personal belongings to speak of I'm sure I'd be laying waste to them as well. I left the following message for facebook explainign my departure.

Online social networking isn't helping my real life at all. If anything, it keeps me from actively connecting with the real world. I'm going to start calling people again, writing them letters, leaving cookies on their doorstep, giving them a real hug. All the virtual gifts in the world can't compare to that. Sometimes you just want to be in the same room with someone, breathing the same air, knowing you're not alone.

A bit dramitic, sure, but I'm feeling that way. The leaves are falling in waves now and the cold has a bite. Grey skies above press down on us as we scurry below from building to building. The season of rain and wind and woodfires is here and I'd be doing a disservice to the weather if I din't let it get to me just a bit : )

Long drive home again.

I've been listening to the Peppers to school and back. Road music. The fall colors are beautiful but sort of upsetting. Bright warnings of the impending winter. Anyway, the Peppers are very California/ summertime and bring a kind of warmth into their music. The same way Soundgarden always sounds like rain. Neither have really been much help though. I'm in a viciously tragic cello mood, yo-yo-ma. Which is why Anthony Kiedis is the post picture. He's pretty. Well, not in a traditional sense, but he cheers me up.
(Note: I had this sort of traditional hot-dude picture of him before but that has no connection at all to how I think of him...which is as a clown. So this look suits him better.)

Octobre

the wind howls in the trees. the leaves fall in grand swirls, kicking up under car tires and coming to rest on the chilly ground. I wake up, spend five minutes thinking how FREEZING the world is outside my blankets, fling the covers back, throw myself down the stairs and jump into the bliss that is a hot shower. If only my car heater was as instant. Stephen Colbert is wearing brilliant cowboy boots underneath his interview desk this evening. I'm going to bed.

School

Last day of freedom. Still in bed. Laptop net to me. ps2 5 feet away so the controller just reaches. Going to put it away for the fall term. The trip was amazing. Visited family and saw some inspiring sights. So exhausting though. Camping is hard work. Big plans for today. Going to make cookies and quesadillas. And visit Grandma, pick up mail. Run on the parents machine of running. Guess that means I have to get up. Is it really noon? Oh dear.

The season falls.

It's a warm day but the nights are chilly. Watching a really cute movie called Ghost Town. The main is British and has faint Bowie tones to his voice. Spent the entirety of yesterday playing FF8. Haven't done that in say... years. I only left the couch to switch out laundry (4 loads) and other necessary things. Trees here an there are beginning to turn and the breeze is shoving giant cloud ships across the sky. The edge of winter is so exciting but then it’s all just rain and grey and sitting in a freezing car waiting for the heater to kick in so you can get to work in a less than icicle state. Okay. I must get ready for my trip.

Roast slowly for seven hours...

The house is on fire. There's no ac. Get back from work at 11:15 pm and fling all doors and windows wide, running the pitiful box fans in an attempt to equalize the temperature. During the time it takes to cool the house off have taken to walking with the roommates about town and campus. I especially love the college grounds because they're lit with aesthetically pleasing globe lamps, giving the trees and brick buildings a surreal glow. I'm giving serious effort in the being healthy department. Drinking lots of water. It helps that the weather has killed my appetite.

I've discovered I have an apparent propensity for math, to my everlasting despair. I'm even making jokes and scenarios with it. I imagined a FF character using math to battle. For instance, if they wish to decrease the enemies power they simply throw a -10 power at it and suddenly the creature is exponentially smaller. This is the sort of thing that makes me terrified to wake up in the morning. What am I turning into?

Alright time for breakfast.

June time

Muggy day. The roomier are upstairs preparing for work and a choir concert respectively. I just got my next installment of Battlestar Galactica from Netflix. I feel a lazy day approaching. Had tea and naan bread for breakfast. Watched So You think You can Dance with the fellow dwellers. CJ came by and picked her laundry up. It's warm enough now that we're hang drying some of the lighter items to save on energy costs. My herb box and strawberry pot are surviving my careful lack of attention. the partiers next door will be moving out soon WOO HOOOOO! Last weekend they were going till four possibly five in the morning. ridiculous. I had violent thoughts, thoughts of flaming dog doodies flying over the fence.

morning sun

It's about 9:30 and the day is already on it's way. So much potential but I will be following my survival instinct and go to work as scheduled. I tried to get the jets in the bathtub to work the other day. Thankfully I wasn't actually taking a bath. the water exploded out with the force of a dam breaking. Along with the water the, I'm going to say years of, debris and buildup in the system came spewing out. It was gross, unbelievably foul. After the shock wore off and I got into some dry clean clothes it was all rather funny. I also managed to break the vacuum somehow and will be replacing that when I get some money. haha. Life has been really good though lately. I'm really thankful to be here with these people at this time in my life. And everything in this tiny town can be walked to! I might actually be motivated to get some exercise.

Sunday Morning

the house is empty today. Had breakfast. Finished reading "Laura". It's a short read. I might mail it forward since it only cost a quarter. What a gorgeous day! I'm going to get ready for work and go for a drive. When I look out my window there are quite a few birds flying around. They exist in this whole other world fifty feet above us. The birthday of mi hermana is tomorrow, twenty-two, which makes us both even numbers now. I like cows. they look so contented, chewing, digesting, rechewing, sleeping in the sun. The little baby ones are so funny as they still struggle with walking. I think I'm in love with the countryside, getting lost on gravel roads. I can't imagine who can afford to live out there, with acres of land, horses, space......s p a c e. I'm just feeling the closeness of the neighbors. I could hear them cussing out something as I tried to read. okay, gotta go now.

PS 3 and 1/2 years later i finally have mybraces off. woo and might i add HOOO!!!

Home Again

So I just moved into my fifth home in seven years. Hoping to be in this one for at least two. There's cable and internet access in every bedroom and it's included with rent which is unheard of, I think. I feel at home already even though it's only been week. I think it's it's because each of the roomies came equipped with a complete household. We have furniture in the living room , stuff on the walls, pictures, books, dishes, random keepsakes, dirty laundry, food in the fridge, notes left to each other on the counter. We've only lived here awhile but it feels settled. I like it. There's a little fenced in deck and yard. I ate lunch and read out there today in the sun like I used to in Medford at the apartment complex. I'm working on an old mystery novel called Laura. It was made into a movie in the forties, pretty entertaining. That had it on instant watch on Netflix. I cut myself back on rentals because of school. Ugg, I have homework again for the first time in six years. No, it's fun, and I've worked really hard to able to take these classes. I'm supposed to keep a journal for English. I'm keeping one on my laptop but I think I'll use this a little as well, just to diversify ahah.

Family

Just kidding. Let's talk about overeating. Just did it again. And even though all signals from below say no I continue to cram crunchy chocolate peanuts into my gaping yaw. Very sleepy now.
Want an open field and a spring breeze. I'd settle for a dusty corner window seat in an old library though. I haven't left this room all day except to take the trash out. Watching the Butterfly Effect again. I don't mind the kids but the adult actors, okay just AK, are SOOOooooo annoying. On the plus side I remembered there's a scene with Ckr at the very end that I need for my collection. Some people collect bugs. Some people collect thirty second snippets of obscure Canadian actors from mainstream American films. Somehow I doubt there's a career in forensic science in my future.

Book maze.

Went to Powell's World of Books the other day. It was hot and muggy downtown. The whole place was crawling with people and the AC just couldn't keep up. I huffed and puffed the stairs of the various rooms for awhile but couldn't find a place to settle. Finally I ventured all the way to the top and the Pearl room was nearly empty. I found a quiet nook in architecture, sat down on the floor and studied unconventional bathrooms for an hour or two. I felt like I had that whole area to myself; no one ever walked by. I think I understand the appeal of a private library more and more, the luxury of being totally alone in a labyrinth of books. Of course, that's usually when the slimy thing with eighteen arms or the deviant security guard comes out from behind the encyclopedias and kills you but those are the risks one has to take.

August Moon

Blood red or smokey grey the moon has stayed a consistent source of magic this month. That and the thick smell of wet earth and cut hay have made my drive home more bearable. Work is a continuous drain on any attempts I might make at having a soul. No, that's not entirely true. I do enjoy most of my co-workers as well as my customers, or at the very least I'm indiffrent. No, no, it's really the other ones, that small percentage of human beings who cannot help but make themselves as irratating as possible. It was and is their destiny to make the rest of us look better by being awful. And to remind what we might become if we let ourselves go unchecked. In a way, I'm grateful for their presence and how it makes everyone else around seem that much nicer.

(On a side note: I was very selfish this week and yelled at my mother and wouldn't give my little sister a ride home from camp.)

Good Morning Starshine!

welcome to another dreary gray June day in Oregon. The sun is shining hot on some other state today. I tried to ride my bike to the store for milk. HA! Next time I'll walk. truly, this town hates bicycles. And energy conservation in general. Alright, I'm going to go have some tea and try to wake up. I feel like a zombie sheep, undead and extra stupid.

Actually...

Now that I've figured out HOW to sign in I think I'll use this more. Aren't you excited? Aren't you on the edge of your little gray five wheeled computer chair with the duct tape arms!? That being said I have no intention of saying anything interesting tonight.

Annoying is the new blog.

They made me change this thing. i dislike change. Except the kind I find on the street. Hmm. So . Yes. Well then. So I guess the new blogger looks like the old blogger. I'll survive then. I wonder if I should find something useful to do today? Nah.

Why do I like music I can't relate to? Seriously. Although four depressed guys from Seattle are a notch up from a British crack head. Still, light years from my actual thoughts and emotions. John Reuben is a bit closer, throw in a bit of third Day, Mute Math, some Switchfoot. Way more accurate. And yet as I go about my day..."I close my eyes and walk a thousand years"

...not for the last time

Bilbo wished he was back in his cozy hobbit hole with a cup of tea and a warm fire...

But all the adventures were good for him, made him a better person. Right.....
There's no sunshine at my job. It's all flourecent lighting, no windows. I'm going mad slowly but surely, all that orange lining the walls, checkouts, highlighting the my slow spiral into insanity. I like precisely one person there. And that's because they remind me of my sister. The rest vary from non-entities to REALLy annnoying. One of the clean up crew looks a bit like Kevin Bacon. A bit too much actaully. It's creepy. Kevin Bacon scares the crap out of me, like in that movie, The River, I think it's called. Talent is a neat-o little town which I have yet to do much more in than drive through on my way to work.

Why can't you be good like the other children?

Well, after a good rabbit trail romp through MySpace I’ve decided I’ve completely wasted my life...of wait, I reached that conclusion awhile back. Ha! Too late! Still, all the babies and husbands and degrees and foreign countries listed by former acquaintances are a bit overwhelming. I’m not envious but I’d really hate to try to write anything interesting about the last five years. Sum up: two words: REALLY BORING. Perhaps the rest of my life will be REALLY FABULOUS. By that I mean I’ll have all sorts of adventures which, much like Bilbo, make me wish that I was back safe at home in my nice warm bed drinking tea and studying maps.

What day is it again?

Smoking is not being endorsed here...just pretend that's a cinnamon stick or medicinal or something.
I won't even go into how terrible a daughter I am...but I will state that I am indeed a terrible daughter.

The sun is shining so of course I’m avoiding it if at all possible. Wouldn’t want to damage that winter tan I worked so hard on. I ate about twice my body weight earlier today and I’m feeling a little sick, in a good way of course.

Working a Figgie’s but I have a new boss since Mike sold the store. Think it’s for the best. I still plan on quitting soon, and hope to find new employment at the myriad of glorious establishments this town has to offer someone with no college or trade skills. I wonder how much my earlobes are worth on the black market? I mean, I’m not using them. Then again, I’m not sure there’s even a market for that sort of thing.

Dreams have never made my bed...

... So last night I had a work dream, you know, the stressful kind in which everything is going wrong. As I open the drive thru window who should my wondering eyes appear but George Clooney. yes, I know very odd, considering I think he's somewhat of a buffoon. But I HAD to get his signature for my mother since she adores him. then, he also wrote down some career advice, with a diagram, and little notes, and told me "You shouldn't be working here." HA!!!! My mum's hero told me to quit! In a dream! I'm SO putting that in the resignation letter :) Also, I'm trying to eat healthier. We'll see how it goes. Mmm, rabbit food. Actually, rabbits eat a lot of pellets, eww.

April showers bring gardens of sound and slaves to audio

On my break from work aka, the period of time where, more than any other, I contemplate just running away. My little apartment is looking pretty cute thanks to Chelsea moving in. She actually has the time and energy to decorate and arrange stuff yeah! I'm currently looking for a car, or something on wheels. It could run on potatoes and I'd say "cool". Been tryin got do crunchies every day in order to aid my back in it's rather tremendous job of supporting my cumbersome frame ;) Ran out of TP today and am too lazy to pick some up. Hello employee bathroom. Okay, too much info yeah? Right-o. Gotta go check on dinner . later.

...like a sultan in your onion head hat

Breakfast: Bowl of stale Honey Nut Cheerios and 2% milk.

Music: Pearl Jam, Johnny Cash, The Cure, RHCP, Cake, Temple of the Dog, Andrea Bocelli, Switchfoot, Third Day, Eagles, Led Zepplin.

Cleanliness: unshowered, laundry unfolded, dirty socks kicked off in sleep still at end of bed.

Money spent: none, but had a close call with amazon.com this morning

Goals: Wash self, fold clothes, eat food, walk to parents, deposit money, clear debt with library.

Everbody's gonna party like it's 2006

and then they're going to write about it.

So glad to be up and about again after my little adventura de la espalda. At the tender age of 23 I can now add back problems to my geriatric mixing pot of medical symptoms. Any day now I'll be dicussing the forthcoming weather as predicted by my left knee and eating various forms of mashed food stuffs.

Lately I've been bemoaning the loss of Seifer's (my little geek figurine that marks this territory as mine) glorious gunblade at the teeth of Hellwood. After purusing online for awhile I found one can purchase the aforementioned item ACTUALL SIZE. Hah! Now that's a knife!

Speaking of knives, Bowie's birthday is coming soon. He'll be 59 this year. :) And only one heart attack so far! Doing good old man ;) Considering the Scarface sized pile of cocaine he's snorted. See skinny paranoid example on the right.

Christmas?

So apparently some sort of manically festive thing is going on. While I'm looking foward to seeing my family, eating cinnamon rolls, and recycling mass amounts of paper into the fireplace, I'm avoiding all major public locations and shopping centers until after the 25th.

Looking foward to seeing long lost friends again. So many have moved away that holidays are the only time they're in town anymore. Nina and her family will be moving back to Oregon permenantley, hopefully :) Five years is a long time and I can't help but wonder what she be like after going through so much.

I've developed a reaction to the soap at work that is somewhere between what I had before and a flesh eating virus, VERY NASTY. I'm going to wear gloves all day today no matter how annoying to try to salvage what's left of my hands.

Allow me to speak gibberish

Potato. Kind. And. Door. Legato. So, I took the job at Figaro's, the big AM. What this means is, I get to wear a hand-me-down shirt, tell people what to do and deal with cranky customers. So, basically, nothing has changed.

The first opening song to Bleach is AAAAHHHH!!!!!!!! sooooooooo cool.

I have to leave the family festivities early to go feed my bosses dogs. Stupid dogs. But I agreed to do it. I just didn't think it through. At least they’re letting me use their extra car so I don’t have to walk there and back twice a day. (Edit: I no longer have to do this , yeah!!!)

Went to a Reliant K/ MXPX concert at the Crystal Ballroom in Portland. Learned what moshing is the hard way. I’m still kind of sore. Really, I’ve concluded, it’s an extreme sport. Imagine the conditions of the most crowded bus ever, minus the seats, add heat, humidity, loud noises and strobe lights and it’s practically Vietnam. I may never get the sweat of those hundreds of people off me. Heh.

Yeah! SO excited about Thanksgiving this year. I miss my family :) And it looks as though my uncle has goen all out in preparation. 27 lb. turkey! Will it fit in the oven? Might just have to roast it over an open fire...

Crazy Mary

So, before my computer crashed I’d written up a whole story about this college professor who’s in Japan with some students and fellow faculty. Nothing much happens. She eats some noodles at night, visits her parent’s grave marker, has a good cry, plays pachinko.

But through no fault of mine my computer winked out of existence and had to be REFORMATTED, which means I lost absolutely everything.

Once again the page is white, the sketch book is empty, the film is blank, and the clay is lumpy and unfolded. Blasted beginnings drive me crazy. Telling you what I listen to when I write would only be pointless and I care even less than you do. I listen to whatever intrudes the least, preferably with people who mumbles their words incoherently or don’t speak English; better yet when there aren’t any words. Right now I’m listening to Pearl Jam.

How about this time around, since I can’t think of anything to write anyway, I’ll journal like a mad woman. On Wednesday I start a real grown-up job tomorrow, so I have to be as irresponsible and lazy as I can mange and still recover in one nights sleep. I’m not one for the usual vices so seven pots of tea and eighteen hours of anime will probably be the sin of the year.

THOUGHTS ON:

On anime: Once again I’ve fallen for a show with the cliché inclusion of Mr. emotionally disconnected yet tall dark and handsome, Ms. cute, little and lethal, blood sucking mega monsters and the ever incompetent legal authorities. I MUST find help for this. It’s ever so much worse than reality TV or true crime drama. No, I take that back. Reality TV is the scummy floor that’s holding up the bottom of the television barrel.

On books: I’m reading one!

On TV. Never again.

On movies. The setting and creatures in Naussica: Valley of the Wind are quite reminiscent of Super Metroid for SNES. I finally sat myself down and watched My Best Friend’s Wedding. I was not amused. What gives with all the hype?

On important things: ……………Forgot to check the mail today.

Bowie. I was going to write ‘On Bowie’ but then I had these funny thoughts of him being crushed by a beluga and decided for a different format. He’s looking a little “husky” these days, which is a good sign. It means he’s really stopped smoking and is taking it easy. At 58 he deserves a break no?

I would like to thank...

Whoever drew this, because for some reason I find it comforting. So, today I ate the last of my Gummie Savers, sent an email to Mindy, napped, played FF7 and never left the house. A good day. I think a butterfly flapping in wings in Africa probably had more effect on the status of Earth today than I did, so my goal is met.Got carded for alcohol for the first time last night. Thankfully my license was not the one in question this time. Oh, and not that I drank anything, but you know, it was fun going through the motions. Just to be a twit I ordered milk. I was going to ask for Ceylon tea, like Millie in Trigun but I don't think they had any.

Ye old pizza place continues on the same as it ever was.

Tomorrow my family is going to pay $800 for some guy to cram rubber bands and metal in my mouth for the next two years, causing great discomfort and pain as my teeth are slowly dragged around. Madness, but then, this is the land of the free. And free people do the stupidest things.

There is a good possibility I’m getting a pedicure next weekend which means I must cave in and shave my legs. I really can’t express my displeasure properly. It’s kind of like having someone tell you to take the trash out when you’re in the middle of a really good boss fight. You could just press pause and go do it but it’s SOOOOOO annoying.

Linux, Lennox, Annie, an e,

“Have you ever heard the story, of Mr. Faded Glory? Say he who rides the pony must someday fall.” Mother Love Bone: funny name, good stuff.

The awkward thing about this web log is I can’t really journal anything personal because other people read it. About three, but still, I know they’re there.

........................

For instance, that particular thought will not be published. I think most people do this sort of editing unless their log is anonymous. In that case, why bother? Something to do I guess.

Oh dear a pack of rabid animals has just entered the room. Hopefully I’m downwind.

Bri.