Turning

Today isn't my 111th birthday but like Bilbo I do feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread. Which is why I'v run far away to the town of Centralia. I have no idea what it looks like since we got here at night but the hotel is by far the strangest and most delightful place I've ever stayed. It's one of the McMenamin's projects, an old collection of rooms turned into a pub/therater/hotel/pool hall. The theater has a working sink next to the couch in a corner. Stories of ill repute line the halls and decorate the bathroom walls and everywhere are murals of the type of lower class characters that frequented the place in its less respectable days. The room is a tiny space, with a bunk bed, a sink, bathrobes, fringe lamps, lots of coat hooks, a skylight and an excess of hot air pumping in from two different ceiling vents.  The toilets and showers are scatterd around the halls of the 26 rooms at random, each with its own quirks. We watched a movie in the theater lounging on a small coach, our feet propped up on a chair and ridiculous food on the end tables. It could have been Manos: Hands of Fate and I think I still would have enjoyed myself. But now I'm very sleepy. My birthday has been celebrated. I've destroyed a pinata with a sword, had two cakes, several cards, the obligatory song and gotten away on a short but jolly holiday. I'm feeling happy, spoiled and sleepy. Tomorrow I'm going to attempt to tackle Pike's Place Market and a little shopping. Until then...

...

December

Made it around the wheel once more. The cold winter nights are back and I drove in the moonlight tonight without headlights. It was so bright I could see the fields and roads. Still, probably a stupid thing to do, even just for a few seconds.  Sometimes I just have to feel the pavement getting sucked under the tires like the waves under the prow of a ship. I feel guilty about using the gas though.

As I was driving home...

I noticed geese flying north. At work in the parking lot the other day I saw them flying south. The birds are messing with my sense of direction. Good news on the home front. I passed my last paper which means I have a chance to pass this class. Dad's talking to me. I have to go. Okay I'm back now. Watched Green Street Hooligans tonight but it's not as good as I remember. Elijah Wood is too feminine a narrator and his soft voice cannot convey the depth of his supposed feelings. Morgan Freeman should just be the narrator for everything. I wonder what's happening exactly 180 degrees from where I'm sitting, on the same parallel half way across the world. Are they searching videos on you tube, looking out after cows in the grass, watching tv in a bar, sleeping in a hammock while the sound of traffic roars outside?

The paper is a week late. I have to turn it in tomorrow. But naturally I've sat here most of the day playing video games, eating cookies and planning dinner. Oh, and watching "Persuasion" on Netflix, possibly the most romantic and most depressing of all the Austen movies. 9 years! Appropriate viewing for a woman approaching her 27th birthday. I was talking to a friend last night about our mutual despair over finding Prince Charming and I told her something to make her feel better, or at least get her mind off of it. He said I ought to write it down so here it is, a story of her true love found at last.
“Your eyes will meet across the room. At least, you’ll think they’ve met. Your glasses are old and they’ve turned down the lights to show off the recently decorated tree.  Slowly you get to your feet, joints creaking, and you grip the rubber handles of your walker. With a determined shuffle you both make your way towards the center of the room, dodging wheelchairs and neighbors from down the hall with the speed of a slow motion video.  The hearing aid assisted conversations drift around you but you are in a world of two as finally you face each other. He leans forward on his four legged cane to hear you better, his filmy blue grey eyes locked on yours.  You take a shaky breath and say, ‘I’ve been waiting...’ He smiles and replies, ‘...all of my life.”

It's cold now. Freezing. The drive to school is merely traffic, no fall leaves or summer breezes. If I race out of class I can beat the school bus system of DOOM. Started reading the last book in the Nightwatch series. The feeling of a Russian winter suits me fine.

FREEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I deactivated both my Facebook and Myspace and as I suspected, I feel a little less burdened. I'm in a clean out mood. I got rid of a bunch of stuff on my computer and if I had any personal belongings to speak of I'm sure I'd be laying waste to them as well. I left the following message for facebook explainign my departure.

Online social networking isn't helping my real life at all. If anything, it keeps me from actively connecting with the real world. I'm going to start calling people again, writing them letters, leaving cookies on their doorstep, giving them a real hug. All the virtual gifts in the world can't compare to that. Sometimes you just want to be in the same room with someone, breathing the same air, knowing you're not alone.

A bit dramitic, sure, but I'm feeling that way. The leaves are falling in waves now and the cold has a bite. Grey skies above press down on us as we scurry below from building to building. The season of rain and wind and woodfires is here and I'd be doing a disservice to the weather if I din't let it get to me just a bit : )

Long drive home again.

I've been listening to the Peppers to school and back. Road music. The fall colors are beautiful but sort of upsetting. Bright warnings of the impending winter. Anyway, the Peppers are very California/ summertime and bring a kind of warmth into their music. The same way Soundgarden always sounds like rain. Neither have really been much help though. I'm in a viciously tragic cello mood, yo-yo-ma. Which is why Anthony Kiedis is the post picture. He's pretty. Well, not in a traditional sense, but he cheers me up.
(Note: I had this sort of traditional hot-dude picture of him before but that has no connection at all to how I think of him...which is as a clown. So this look suits him better.)

Octobre

the wind howls in the trees. the leaves fall in grand swirls, kicking up under car tires and coming to rest on the chilly ground. I wake up, spend five minutes thinking how FREEZING the world is outside my blankets, fling the covers back, throw myself down the stairs and jump into the bliss that is a hot shower. If only my car heater was as instant. Stephen Colbert is wearing brilliant cowboy boots underneath his interview desk this evening. I'm going to bed.

School

Last day of freedom. Still in bed. Laptop net to me. ps2 5 feet away so the controller just reaches. Going to put it away for the fall term. The trip was amazing. Visited family and saw some inspiring sights. So exhausting though. Camping is hard work. Big plans for today. Going to make cookies and quesadillas. And visit Grandma, pick up mail. Run on the parents machine of running. Guess that means I have to get up. Is it really noon? Oh dear.

The season falls.

It's a warm day but the nights are chilly. Watching a really cute movie called Ghost Town. The main is British and has faint Bowie tones to his voice. Spent the entirety of yesterday playing FF8. Haven't done that in say... years. I only left the couch to switch out laundry (4 loads) and other necessary things. Trees here an there are beginning to turn and the breeze is shoving giant cloud ships across the sky. The edge of winter is so exciting but then it’s all just rain and grey and sitting in a freezing car waiting for the heater to kick in so you can get to work in a less than icicle state. Okay. I must get ready for my trip.

Roast slowly for seven hours...

The house is on fire. There's no ac. Get back from work at 11:15 pm and fling all doors and windows wide, running the pitiful box fans in an attempt to equalize the temperature. During the time it takes to cool the house off have taken to walking with the roommates about town and campus. I especially love the college grounds because they're lit with aesthetically pleasing globe lamps, giving the trees and brick buildings a surreal glow. I'm giving serious effort in the being healthy department. Drinking lots of water. It helps that the weather has killed my appetite.

I've discovered I have an apparent propensity for math, to my everlasting despair. I'm even making jokes and scenarios with it. I imagined a FF character using math to battle. For instance, if they wish to decrease the enemies power they simply throw a -10 power at it and suddenly the creature is exponentially smaller. This is the sort of thing that makes me terrified to wake up in the morning. What am I turning into?

Alright time for breakfast.

June time

Muggy day. The roomier are upstairs preparing for work and a choir concert respectively. I just got my next installment of Battlestar Galactica from Netflix. I feel a lazy day approaching. Had tea and naan bread for breakfast. Watched So You think You can Dance with the fellow dwellers. CJ came by and picked her laundry up. It's warm enough now that we're hang drying some of the lighter items to save on energy costs. My herb box and strawberry pot are surviving my careful lack of attention. the partiers next door will be moving out soon WOO HOOOOO! Last weekend they were going till four possibly five in the morning. ridiculous. I had violent thoughts, thoughts of flaming dog doodies flying over the fence.

morning sun

It's about 9:30 and the day is already on it's way. So much potential but I will be following my survival instinct and go to work as scheduled. I tried to get the jets in the bathtub to work the other day. Thankfully I wasn't actually taking a bath. the water exploded out with the force of a dam breaking. Along with the water the, I'm going to say years of, debris and buildup in the system came spewing out. It was gross, unbelievably foul. After the shock wore off and I got into some dry clean clothes it was all rather funny. I also managed to break the vacuum somehow and will be replacing that when I get some money. haha. Life has been really good though lately. I'm really thankful to be here with these people at this time in my life. And everything in this tiny town can be walked to! I might actually be motivated to get some exercise.

Sunday Morning

the house is empty today. Had breakfast. Finished reading "Laura". It's a short read. I might mail it forward since it only cost a quarter. What a gorgeous day! I'm going to get ready for work and go for a drive. When I look out my window there are quite a few birds flying around. They exist in this whole other world fifty feet above us. The birthday of mi hermana is tomorrow, twenty-two, which makes us both even numbers now. I like cows. they look so contented, chewing, digesting, rechewing, sleeping in the sun. The little baby ones are so funny as they still struggle with walking. I think I'm in love with the countryside, getting lost on gravel roads. I can't imagine who can afford to live out there, with acres of land, horses, space......s p a c e. I'm just feeling the closeness of the neighbors. I could hear them cussing out something as I tried to read. okay, gotta go now.

PS 3 and 1/2 years later i finally have mybraces off. woo and might i add HOOO!!!

Home Again

So I just moved into my fifth home in seven years. Hoping to be in this one for at least two. There's cable and internet access in every bedroom and it's included with rent which is unheard of, I think. I feel at home already even though it's only been week. I think it's it's because each of the roomies came equipped with a complete household. We have furniture in the living room , stuff on the walls, pictures, books, dishes, random keepsakes, dirty laundry, food in the fridge, notes left to each other on the counter. We've only lived here awhile but it feels settled. I like it. There's a little fenced in deck and yard. I ate lunch and read out there today in the sun like I used to in Medford at the apartment complex. I'm working on an old mystery novel called Laura. It was made into a movie in the forties, pretty entertaining. That had it on instant watch on Netflix. I cut myself back on rentals because of school. Ugg, I have homework again for the first time in six years. No, it's fun, and I've worked really hard to able to take these classes. I'm supposed to keep a journal for English. I'm keeping one on my laptop but I think I'll use this a little as well, just to diversify ahah.